Well, the final blows (I hope) were delivered yesterday when Travis discovered that our little VW wouldn't start due to an abundance of air bubbles in the fuel line, likely the cause of a cracked fuel line, and, he didn't get to work yesterday either due to an abundance of snow. Here we are, for the first time in our lives, wishing it would stop snowing, and also, for the first time in our relationship, completely vehicleless. The Quantum was our remaining legal vehicle, and of course, Marmie still sits in her snow trench, with tags that expired in March of 2009, nearly flat tires, and probably not enough gas to even make it to the street. And she certainly isn't going to climb out of that snow without a huge amount of help anyways. So, yesterday morning started with such delightful discoveries, and I knew right then that we were either due for a turn in luck, or our house would likely burn down. Well, around noon, our very good friends whose dog we had been sitting for the past week came home and collected the little menace, which was good news in itself, but also, they offered us the use of their second car for a few days to buy us some time. This is the kind of friendship that I value so much. Because our families are all mostly so far away, having friends who are like family is invaluable. Anyhow, now we get to drive around in a Mercedes for a little while, which brings back fond memories of my good ole 1969 Mercedes I had many years ago. What a fun car to drive! The major differences are about 15 years in age, and of course, this Mercedes starts reliably, where as my old Olaf might consider starting every other day or so. With much gratitude, I can say that we are not entirely stranded now, and Travis has a way to get to work, should he ever get to work again!

Ugh, having a tough time right now. My usual positive outlook on life has suffered some severe blows lately. I keep reminding myself I don't have it nearly as bad as so many people in this world, but it isn't helping too much. On top of the difficulties I described in my last post, things have continued to slide downhill. Travis didn't work for nearly two full weeks, and upon returning to work, he is only getting four hours a day, which will definitely not catch us up. I have been desperately trying to make money selling things on craigslist, my efforts yielding a few dollars, but nothing like what I was doing last month. Four days ago, after my glucose tolerance test, I got the dreaded phone call. My blood sugar was elevated. So, there goes my remaining hope of a healthy, normal pregnancy and birth. Of course, I have to go in and do a three-hour glucose tolerance test, and both yesterday morning and this morning I tried to go in to the lab. I can't go in during the week while Travis is working because a) no babysitter and b)we only have one car right now and he's driving it to Sisters. Anyways, our delightful car, being a particularly persnickity diesel, wouldn't start yesterday till around 1 in the afternoon, and of course, it wouldn't start again this morning. So, now, I won't be able to do the three hour test till a week from Tuesday, when my Mom is here visiting. That ought to make my doctor happy. I even tried to bust trusty ole Marmie out of the foot-deep snow in the back yard. While she obligingly started up after a few tries, and she put up a valiant fight against the slick, bumpy hill out of the back yard, she ended up ingloriously stuck sideways in the side driveway. Where she will undoubtedly stay until the snow melts, pouting in her embarassment. Yes, Volkswagens can pout! But for the record, in my eleven-year relationship with Marmie, she has only let me down just a couple of times, so I can't hold it against her. I'm impressed she even started.
Meanwhile, the van that is stuck in Portland has been for sale since being left there, and we've had a lot of interest, including a couple of cash offers. So, with any luck, it will sell by the end of the month, one big load off, and enough money to fill in the gap on the mortgage payment.
The month of December may well go down in history as the longest month of my life. Unless, of course, as is usually the case, the third trimester goes even slower than the rest of this longest pregnancy ever.

Ever have one of those days when it feels like everything is in crises and you can do nothing right? That was today. We've had a series of difficulties around here lately, beginning with the truck we bought in Merrill (we had my father-in-law check it out for us so we actually bought it sight unseen). We went to collect it in Malin on Thanksgiving and discovered the radiator is full of oil, so it needs about $400 in repairs, and it still sits in Malin. Then, the new family van, the 1987 VW Vanagon we bought just three months ago, had a critical blow out in its engine on the freeway in Portland, so it still sits in Portland at my Aunt and Uncle's house. We can't afford to repair it, and the can't tow it home because the truck sits in Malin, also broken. Then, to top it all off, Travis hasn't worked for a week because the stone they need for their next job did not get ordered or delivered on time. And this comes after having the past two pay periods short on hours. So, now we are in near-dire financial circumstances, unsure how we will pay all the bills and our mortgage, and we have two broken vehicles on opposite sides of the state. Needless to say, I am feeling the pressure. And then, today, I felt like I couldn't even do a good job as a mom. I know all moms make mistakes, all moms have days and moments they regret, but I just hate having those. I hate letting my kids down, I hate that fear that I might be forever screwing up these two little boys with the mistakes I make. I will be glad tonight when I get to snuggle up with little Eli on the bunk beds and read to the boys until I hear that sweet sound of their sleep breathing. Glad to wake up tomorrow to a new day, another chance to do a better job, to learn and grow as a mom.

We're Still Here!

Well, last month was national novel writing month and I succeeded in writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. So, now I am returning to my long neglected blog in hopes of a continuing creative outlet. I apologize to those who have checked back here only to find that I haven't posted in an eon. Life has swept me away into the world of busy small people as my two boys continue to grow and develop so fast. I am still in shock as we enter the month of December that Isaac will be four and Elias will be two this month. The years fly by so quickly.
Of course, the months do not for me right now. As most of you know, I am expecting our third and final child, and I can honestly say this is the longest pregnancy in history! March is still a long, long ways away.
This morning I awoke to sugar-coated trees and that beautiful, snowy light in the early sky. I love mornings like this, they are mornings that make me miss being one of the first to arrive at Sunrise Lodge to open up the mountain. How I miss that quiet, snowy air before the lifts begin to run, before all the skiers and boarders show up in splashes of noise and color. It is difficult for me to get out into the snow these days. Any attempt requires about an hour of dressing and bundling small bodies, and my own not-so-small body just doesn't operate like normal, making balance on slick surfaces challenging. I look forward to Decembers in the future, early sugar-coated mornings when I can take my three children up to the mountain for a day of powder.

Early attempts at self-dressing gone wrong...

Psst, your Mom isn't looking, so let me lick
that ice cream off your face!

Hurray, the world is Eli's, he can get down the patio steps!

Fun with blankets!

Modeling the super cute sweater overalls I made for him.

Spring Is a Terrible Time To Get Serious...

Well, here we are, three days away from Spring, and I have to get serious about getting some things done? Are you kidding me? The sun is out, the river is calling...why on earth are taxes due in the beginning of April? Why do baby chicks have to be started in March? Why does the garden need to be planted? And why can't my sewing machine be on wheels so I could just roll it out to the patio every day? It needs a solar panel!
But seriously (?), I do have to get some things done. The school bus blueprints are in the works, we've pretty much established the layout, now we just have to really draw it up. The trailer is all torn apart, most of the important pieces we need are ready to go into the bus. So, maybe this weekend we will tape a layout on the floor of the bus and really see what it's going to be like. (Tight!) I'll try and get some pictures on here!
With the sun of spring I have my usual overwhelming urges to raft, raft, raft, and am really looking forward to the possibility of getting some work days on the river this summer. Now that Elias is gaining some independence from me (and my milk!) I might actually get to earn some money doing what I really love! Yay! Of course, don't get me wrong, I love sewing too, I just don't make much money doing it, and it would be pretty hard to do on a river. But, speaking of sewing, I am preparing to launch my new business! Wild Iris Threads, wild threads for wild kids. :) I am hoping to do more clothing and quilts and less diapers. Also hoping to break into the alterations and repair market around here.
But anyhow, enough about me...Isaac is starting to talk so much better, and I can't believe how huge he is. I worry that by next week he will be up to my eyeballs! It can be hard for him because he loves to interact with everyone he encounters and people always think he is like five, and expect him to be able to talk like a five-year-old. Same goes with other kids on the playground. But of course, he is only three, and has a lot of pronunciation issues to work on still. :) Poor guy, its not for lack of brains, that's for sure. I fear Isaac will be the kid who can't stay out of trouble simply because of boredom, because his brain works much faster than most! Elias is emerging more and more as a little ham. He keeps me laughing with his antics, "dancing", walking around with things on his head, going around and around till he tips over with dizziness, and his "silly walks." Just in time for the sunny weather, he figured out how to get down steps, so he has been given some measure of freedom in the back yard. (I still have to watch out that he doesn't pick up a handful of dog poo or start eating dirt, etc.) But its so nice to open up the french doors and just let the boys go while I try to get a thing or two done. Of course, I tend to just inch my way out those doors too!
It will be time to start feeling like a farm wife again soon. We had to do away with two of our hens so we are down to four. That means chicks, and the boys and I will probably go pick up a few in a week or two. And we will be doing some planting this weekend! I'm sure that will bring in some storms, with plenty of giant hail balls. :)
Well, I'd better get some pictures on here before Eli wakes up in dire need of breakfast...

Okay Okay, I admit, I'm a Slacker!

Sorry all for being such a slacker and not posting to this blog again for so long. You have to understand that December is the busiest time of the year for the Stewy family and it takes January to recover. :) Elias had his first birthday, Isaac had his third (!?) birthday, we had Christmas at home and the boys and I had another Christmas in the valley. Of course, this month started with our anniversary and brought our lovely new niece, Lila, and snow! Finally its winter again! Before the snow, I got to go on a bike ride, lovely muddy single track out in the desert, for the first time in years! I actually got a tear in my eye driving out to the trailhead because it wasn't Bojo in the car with me, but Rocky will be a good mountain biking compantion too, once he learns all the cues and commands anyways. I only almost ran him over about six times. My sewing machine has been pretty quiet these days, so my bank account is lacking. I've got big plans for the business, but am still trying to come up with a new name and get labels made up to comply with the whole CPSIA lead law stuff. So, things are kind of on hold these days. But, things are starting to move on the ole 40 footer! We've measured it up and are working on our floorplans. Hoping to start framing it up within the next month and get the wiring and plumbing going. I will soon have pictures of the project to post! And I promise to get some pics posted of the boys soon too!